Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
