these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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