My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Randomize
