white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
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