you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize