Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
the gays at disneyland are vicious
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
