It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
