I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
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