...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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