First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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