she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
