I wish life had little blips of pornography
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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