You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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