You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
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