The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
