Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Randomize
