kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
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she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
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You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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