She announced her abortion via fbk
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
