Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
