pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
