Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize