Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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