erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
