this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
