We're facebook friends in real life
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm