I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.