o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
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