i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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