Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
