just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Randomize
