Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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