ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
