he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
