Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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