this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
