Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Randomize
