lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
