Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize