she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
