i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
