I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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