The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
