Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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