I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Randomize
