you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
She even gives head with a lisp.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
