So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
