my vag is so smooth its legendary
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize