She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize
