he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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