were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
