Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
When did angry sex become our thing?
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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