I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Randomize
