He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
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