Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
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I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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