But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
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She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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