So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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