i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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