I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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