i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
