he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
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