I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
