The brown eye won't let me do that either.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Randomize
