This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
i jhust puked up my retainher.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Randomize
